Stoicism: To Be in Control, Even in the Depth of Misery
How to cope with whatever the universe throws at us.
Anger, disappointment, grief, and despair. These emotions are probably what some of us are going through in each of our days, either from work, friends, family, or even our loved ones. I always have the highest respect for anyone who even in the middle of these mixed emotions, still shows a sense of stoic. Stoic in general is someone who remains calm under the pressure and avoids emotional extremes, to be efficient with both your emotion and action.
Stoic originated from the word Stoa Poikile, a place where Zeno and his students discussed the value of virtue, tolerance, and self-control. I found several things in stoicism that if practiced properly in our daily life might be able to drive us slightly happier and I would gladly lay down what I learn so far about stoicism.
The World is a Jumble of Wild Variables
One thing that stoicism wants to remind us is that we shouldn’t force ourselves to dictate how the world should be. Ever feel like you are one of the unluckiest people on the planet? Feels as if you are cursed? A series of unfortunate events keep going in your way? These are indeed a source of great frustration because of how unfair the world is and even I felt it too in the past. But I believe you should recognize the fact that— some things in this world are just out of our control. We can’t control when we will get sick, what if there is an accident, what if a disaster is at your front door this morning, but we do have control over one thing — and that is how we approach these situations themselves. Don’t worry about things you can’t control because they are inevitable, and don’t worry about things you can control because you can always fix them later.
The Virtue of Stoic
So how do we approach these uncontrollable events or variables? What stoicism wants us to achieve is basically self-improvement based on these 4 virtues. Prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance.
- Prudence: The ability to process a problem with logical, cautious, and at the same time well-informed, practical intelligence.
- Justice: To treat other being as fair as possible along with empathy.
- Fortitude: The courage to step into the darkness itself. In case you feel like you are lacking courage, I just want to tell you that the fact you still have the drive to wake up and live your life is a small step of courageousness.
- Temperament: To practice self-restraint and always be moderate in every aspect of our life. Diminish the boast.
The Transforming of Society, in the Eyes of Stoicism
We see everyone is always wishing for better friends, a better group, a better organization, company, country, and everything else that is on their mind. What they don’t realize is that — in order for society to change in a better condition, everything should start from the individuals themselves. As how Marcus Aurelius, one of the greatest and wise emperors of Roman said:
Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.
In order to create a much more peaceful society than what we have now, I stand by this quote. I do believe, we need to collectively change as an individual, to be productive, logical, and yet emotionally mature in our daily life. Don’t hope for someone to make a change, change the man in the mirror first.
Not to Dehumane Us, but To Do the Best That We Can
I know controlling emotions, and telling you to stay calm even down in pressure is might be easier to say than done. But what stoicism wants to tell you is that — it’s not about reaching perfection in a single day, just do the best that you can at your own pace. The idea is just to be better than you yesterday, one step at a time since stoicism is all about the discovery of our self-worth and how would we ‘sell’ it. What do we know about ourselves? What do we lack? Do we have the willpower to overcome it? and what should we do about this worth of us? That is for you to answer. Humans will always have a room for improvement, there is no one perfect, but I hope with us recognizing this weakness we will strive for a greater good together.
